This happens to a lot of people: you give the barista your name and you end up with a Sharpie-d scrawl you figure out is yours only through a combination of squinting at it and the resignation that it’s somehow close enough to your real name. But this also happens to me ALL the time, and it leads to my larger concern: how does this influence how I present myself professionally? Do I take the slightly less painful route or the fully painful route?
My full name is Celeste Tuong Vy Sharpe. Actually, that’s mostly correct as it’s missing crucial accent marks, but this is the way my name will most always end up presented. And Tuong Vy is one name, two words. Lopping off the second word transforms my name to another word and meaning entirely.
I’ve gone back and forth over whether I wanted to include my middle name in my academic and professional work. Pros: it’s an important marker of my heritage, it’s my name to half my family, and I just like it. Cons: constant snickering/confusion/contempt even, fumbled pronunciations, numerous misspellings. The Cons continue to give me misgivings, since just this week I’ve noticed one misspelling (Celeste Tuong V. Sharpe—this is a new one) and had a phone conversation where I had to repeat several times that yes, Celeste is my first name and Sharpe my last, and [insert uncomfortable pause from the caller here] yes, Tuong Vy (both words!) is my middle name. I imagine that if my name were Chelsea Theresa-Ann Sharpe the woman would have had less trouble identifying my first, middle, and last names. I applaud her for wanting to get it right, but there are less awkward and insensitive ways to phrase a lack of understanding.
So despite the constant frustration that ranges from others’ benign carelessness to racism-based contempt (yes, those come up all too frequently) I’m letting the Pros carry the day. It’s my name. It speaks to my background of which I am incredibly proud, and I’m going to take this as an opportunity to show the importance of respecting other persons/cultures/backgrounds through the respectful treatment of their names. “Huh?” and “What?” just won’t cut it with me anymore.
5 thoughts on “Huh? In which a young scholar struggles to build her academic presence with a difficult name”
This brings me back to this past summer and our routine trips to Starbucks. And as you’re aware my name is by no means as frequently misspelled or mispronounced as yours, but I still find myself rolling my eyes regularly (currently I’m crossimg the name out on my Starbucks cup and rewrite it). It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even say my name to people on the phone, I just spell it. And somehow they still mess it up. I mean really Jeoffrey? Jeoffery? Godfrey? Gregory? Geffry? Geffry? Geffry?! And then there’s my surname. “Yes, it’s pronounced like the beer or the designer but spelled differently. No, not Chores. No, not Chors. No, pronounced like the beer, but NOT spelled like it. Yes, C-O-H-R-S. No, not Cohoarse.” My favorite is when people tell me I’m pronouncing my name incorrectly. Really? Really? I’m sorry my name is not John Smith because I’m sure that would make your life easier.
At least all your names show up on your ID. I go by a name that isn’t technically my legal one and has no (obvious) relationship to my real one. I struggle with the slightly similiar question of whether to be professionally known as “Sasha” or “Alexandra.” Like you, I’ve decided to go with “Alexandra” as, as you said, that’s my name. For those who know me and I know personally (or in informal situations like Facebook and Twitter) I can be Sasha, but professionally and academically, it’s just easier and truer to be Alexandra…no matter how many times I get asked, “So how exactly do you get Sasha from Alexandra?”
Oh, YES, yes, yes. This is such a thing. I think your full name is distinctive and gorgeous. You also have the option of shortening to Celeste T. V. Sharpe, which strikes me as really elegant. I don’t have that option – I can go to Z. N. Bizri, but that feels like a cop out. For pity’s sake, my name is spelled phonetically for English speakers. I really applaud your stance on not taking the easy (for them) route. Racism really is still a thing, but it’s more subtle now.
“What kind of name is that? Ohhhhh…” *uncomfortable silence*
“Oh, you don’t LOOK Arabic!” *shock that a white girl, well, ISN’T.*
“Oh. Oh. OK.” *Shock that I’m not wearing hijab or filling whatever stereotype they hold about Arab women.*
“So you’re Muslim?” *Because telling you my name is Arabic = license to get all presumptuous and nosy about my religious beliefs.*
people get my last name wrong all the time. ALL THE TIME. but people also frequently misspell Lindsey (Lindsay, Lyndsay, Lynzie – that last one is always my favorite) and get very confused over the fact that I go by my middle name. “How did you get ‘Lindsey’ from ‘Martha’?” I didnt you idiot, its my middle name. but i have decided just not to let it bother me. people dont mean anything by it – my name is not what they are used to. but if it bothers you perhaps you could take the route of a friend of mine in college who would always introduce herself by saying “hi i’m sarah-graham, its a double name” because otherwise people would think graham was her last name or her middle name when really that was all her first name.
By no means as problematic, but I’ve always had troubles with my first name having no hard sounding consonants. “Will” just turns into “wha”. Considered switching to Bill, but that’s not me. There is also a much more established scholar, and a professional basketball player with my exact first and last name. I’ll never beat them in the google priority list! Maybe the distinction/originality of “Tuong Vy” is another pro?